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| Afternoon Sun - Photo by Neva Bruce |
A sunny day just after lunch and I get in the passenger side of the car and say, "So where are we headed?"
She says, "Up island to my art studio." We chat along the way as to what each of us have been doing since the last time we were together. Eventually we arrive in Qualicum and I help her carry boxes, canvases, and cases of art supplies into this small art studio and gift shop. I follow her all the way through to the back around various hallways; left, then right, then left again, through the door and into a private space with two long empty tables, and three steel chairs. There are several paintings, by various artists lining the walls. As I wonder along viewing the art displayed, I notice her pulling canvases out and setting out two sets of brushes.
I question, "What are you doing?"
She says, " I am setting you up to paint." as she squishes cerulean blue, cad red, cad yellow and others colours from slightly mangled metallic tubes,laying the selected brushes on top of a 12" x 18" plain white canvas.
" I don't paint!"I state emphatically.
She says, "Everybody can paint."
I retort, "Not me! I nearly failed art in grade seven. My teacher told me I would never draw or do anything artistic!"
She says kindly, "Don't worry, there is no test. Just pic any picture from your phone and start. It doesn't matter, just start."
From that experience I learned that our past does not have to determine our future, that anyone can paint with support and no judgment. Art does not have to be anything; not a certain colour or texture or line. My art is mine and mine alone. It is for me. I have spent the last two years in self discovery of art and have found its therapeutic value in promoting rest, relaxation and healing.
Within the HEAL mandate to find a practice, I find myself trying to define one and then initiate and maintain said practice. I have found this challenging. Maybe because my focus is broad and multifaceted, but I find my self judging, chastising and regretting, which leads to "falling off the wagon". So, I have been thinking a lot about self care, redefining and becoming more forgiving towards myself.
My practice plan of self care is divergent but primarily focused on my physical health. I was thinking this needs to include rest and often rest means sleep, but it has become more than sleep. Rest has become a break for myself; not just a physical break, but a mental one as well.
Of course self care includes personal care, hygiene, bathing, oral care, eating, sleeping, posture, exercise, general checkups on personal health issues, even our interactions with others. Self care includes protection and maintenance of the physical self, but also of ones' mental health.
If I am to have self care, I need to have some space and time that I alone have control over, where I can sit quietly uninterrupted, have a shower without rushing, and not feeling any pressure to meet others needs, to truly spend time with myself. To do this and take care of myself, I have to understand, develop and maintain boundaries. I am reflecting on what my life has been, and is becoming. This is an interesting process.
Merriam - Webster definitions include
Rest as
1 : repose, sleep
specifically a bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities
2 : freedom from activity or labour, a state of motionlessnes or inactivity, the repose of death
3 : a place for resting or lodging
4 : peace of mind or spirit
5 : a rhythmic silence in music, a character representing such a silence, a brief pause in reading
6 : something used for support
Relax as
1 : to become or to cause something to become less tight tense or stiff
2 : to stop feeling nervous or worried
3: to spend time resting or doing something enjoyable especially after you have been doing work
Heal as
To become healthy or well again.
